My Teaching Experiences

Basically DONE!

2007-05-01T15:51:00.000-07:00

Well, other than the wrap-up stuff, I'm done. It's a good feeling, really. I think that's my big motivator in life - that feeling of accomplishment. Some people get a thrill out of the process, others in starting new things (that's my mom)...me, I like to finish stuff.

I've grown more accustomed to the eighth graders and have grown closer to a few of them. I think it was good to go through the transition of not liking them to liking them - especially as I feel I have a better appreciation for them now. At this point, I'm not worried about a teaching placement next year. I'm sure I'll like whatever age group I get.

At the beginning of this quarter, I was often frustrated with third hour. They are a modified class and were quite a challenge for me. I think now, though, that one of the big reasons it was such a challenge for me was that T---- tries to teach them the same way she teaches the other classes. That class just needs more assistance with things - needs things more spelled out. I think they also need more guidance and responsibility checks. If I were to work with them more in the future, I would implement this. As it is, I'm glad to have this knowledge, as I'm sure I'll have a modified class in my future.

I came to learn other things, too. Like that I have a definite preference to not have my desk in view of the hallway. I will often sit and eat and work at my desk at lunch. During that time, I like a little privacy, which I don't feel when my desk is so near the door. It makes me self-conscious. It doesn't bother me to have students in the room - just to be in line with the door.

I also learned how to work on a productive team this semester - one that stays on task and is encouraging with the students. I'm quite glad to see not every team will be like my last one.

I'm a little sad to be leaving the eighth graders at this point. I'm really just starting to get a feel for them. Today at break I talked about piercings with some students and after school another couple students shared their artwork with me and asked what I like to do in my spare time. I feel like they're just now getting to the point where they know me well enough as a teacher to want to know me as a person, but it's just time to leave. I'm also starting to notice the kids I don't know anything about yet. Like C---- and B----, who are quiet, middle-of-the-road students who don't talk out, don't volunteer and don't pass notes. They do their work and show up on time. It's almost like they're trying not to be noticed. It's those kids I would like to talk to more...but won't have the opportunity. I look forward to being with students for an entire school year next year, to really have time to improve and foster those relationships. Something I know that I will definitely do is ask each student to come into my classroom at the beginning of the school year perhaps after school or during lunch - just for a few minutes so that I can get to know them all individually. It's so important to me to do that. I've mentioned that to seasoned teachers, who have all told me that they just don't have the time and I'll discover that I don't either. I will make the time for that.

Twelve Weeks Out of the Way!

2007-04-14T11:23:00.000-07:00

I'm beginning to think that eighth grade isn't for me. Maybe it is, and I would just have to have more ownership over the class (last year I really enjoyed working with the seventh graders), but as of right now...I don't know.

It is difficult being in someone else's class - and being all the time reminded that I am in someone else's class. It's a great way to finish off my student teaching because I'm not developing lesson plans and I'm not grading anything, but it is difficult stepping into someone else's daily plan and enacting things as dictated. Sometimes I wonder how I'm going to plow through.

I have one student in particular, L----, who causes problems all the time in class. He talks out, asks off-topic questions, disrupts the students who sit around him, and finds any excuse he can to leave his desk. The thing is, I really think that most of the time he means well. I also think that a traditional educational setting is exactly what this boy doesn't need. I think he needs more interaction, more hands-on activities, more conversing, and more problem solving. For the large part of my day, I feel like I'm spoon feeding them lessons. This kid, I think, would really benefit from a less direct approach, from a more laissez-faire approach where the teacher is much, much more of a guide just to make sure he doesn't hit his thumb with the hammer. I just don't know how to give that to him.

Week Eleven Done!

2007-04-09T16:24:00.000-07:00

This week I discovered that I had grown closer to my ninth graders than I had thought. When they see me in the halls, they shout out a hello and a few have stopped by the new classroom to say hi. One stopped me in the halls specifically to chat and tell me she wishes I was still in her class. It didn't occur to me that I would miss them after only nine weeks.

I'm starting to learn more about the eighth graders, though. Their names are coming to me and I'm starting to get a feel for their personalities. T---- thinks I'm going to have a super difficult time adjusting, but I'm not. I'm just adjusting is all. I'm making my way through the weeks, knowing that the end is near. Right now, I'm actually more worried about all the end-of-semester wrap-up for my 102 class and applying for teaching jobs.

Fourth Quarter, Here I Come!

2007-03-26T09:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm done in K----'s class. I feel such a sense of finality with it...I'm done with my whole unit, I said good-bye to the kids, I've said good-bye to K----, I packed up all the stuff I had in my desk, I turned in grades...It just feels like I'm done....Which is going to make it even more difficult to return next week and start all over in T----'s class.

I feel like the unit went pretty well. These are some of the small things I hope my students have been able to take from the unit:

TKAM

* Mayella Ewell was NOT a slut, whore or a prostitute. She was a lonely, neglected young girl whose father probably beat her. In trying to seduce Tom, she was merely looking for a friend, trying to feel connected to somebody.

* Tom Robinson did in fact have a left arm. He couldn't use it, but he did still have an arm.

* The character of Dill, even though developed from the author's life-long friend Truman Capote who is homosexual, is not necessarily gay. We actually know nothing about Dill's sexuality other than that he wants to marry Scout when he's around eight-years-old.

* The mockingbird is a symbol for multiple characters including (but not necessarily limited to) Tom, Boo, Atticus and Jem.

* Calpurnia was not a housewife. Atticus was a lawyer. Miss Maudie did not gossip. Dill lied about being abused.

* Lynching someone was worse than just beating them up or threatening them to make them afraid of you.

Of couse, on top of that, I want them to understand the basic storyline, know the characters, recognize the symbols, and feel some connection to the novel, but when it comes down to it, these are the things that were most difficult for most students to comprehend. At first, I was really worried about the book and how the students were or were not comprehending it. However, the more we got into it and the more work I did with it, the more it appeared to me that they were interested in the book. They were excited to watch the movie, they talked about the book before and after class, they became better able to act like the characters and respond for the characters and they did better on quizzes (on the last quiz I gave, all but five students in seventh period received an A on the quiz). I definitely feel success with this unit.

Something else I felt success with was the memoir projects. I had students write a short memoir from both their own perspective and then from the perspective of someone else involved in the memoir. Then, they had to put both story lines into a book. Most students did very well on this assignment. Some students put obvious extra effort into at home. They turned the memoirs in on Monday and in every period Tuesday they asked if I had them all read yet. I had to disappoint them and tell them that it would probably take me the entire week to read and grade the memoirs from all 140 students who turned one in. I enjoyed reading them, for the most part. I found that many students poured themselves into this project and what I received was beautiful. I would definitely want to do this project again, but in the future I wouldn't want to split up the work days. I would to the entire project by itself for one week. The way I did it - split up over a couple days during the second half of the quarter - was too disjointed.

Overall, this quarter was a success. Like I said, it will be difficult to start all over next week since I currently have the feeling of being finished with something, but I suppose I'll trudge through it on my way to graduation. (I think it wouldn't be so difficult if I was staying in the same classroom, incidentally, because I wouldn't have this feeling of finality yet.) I will miss my ninth graders, but I'm sure I'll grow to know and love the eighth graders just the same.

Finished week eight.

2007-03-20T18:21:00.000-07:00

Thursday, one of my students said to me "Ms. H----, I've decided something recently."

"Oh, really?" I asked. "What have you decided?"

"I've decided that you should get a teaching job at Borah next year so that you can be my teacher again," she said. I thanked her and told her that was very sweet. Later, when I told K---- about it, I told her that that student is now obviously my favorite student.

But seriously, I feel a serious connection with the kids I'm working with. I've worried recently that I haven't made an impact with them in this short period of time. I've worried that I haven't taught them everything that I should have or that what I have done with them won't stick with them. But, hearing statements like that make a huge difference.

I realized that C----'s grade has been slipping so I gave him a list of everything he needed to make up with a note telling him that I know he isn't a D student because he is a good writer, he is not a behavior problem and he honestly knows everything going on in TKAM. When I gave him the work, I told him that he would do it and that he would do it this weekend. I told him not to blow it off. Monday, when he walked into the class, all he told me was "I did all my work this weekend." No hello, not his usual nod. Just that simple, complete sentence. I know it may be seen as favoritism, but I've been trying to give all the D and F students assignments for make-up work this week. I just needed to go one step further with this kid. I can't give up on him; I don't know what it is, but something drives me to work harder with him than other kids.

Looking at the grades going into the final week of classes, I'm not that impressed:

A 23
B 38
C 33
D 20
F 14

So, without trying, it's almost a perfect bell curve, with just over a quarter of my students (27%) not passing with at least a C. Interestingly enough, my worst class grade-wise right now is third period - not fifth period (the one with multiple IEP, 504 and ELL students) as K---- told me to expect. I'm interested to see how that changes over the next week as late work trickles in and the last few large graded items are entered into the system.

Seven weeks!

2007-03-10T19:17:00.000-08:00

I learned the value of being well prepared for an unexpected substitute. After Monday when I almost lost my voice in class I lost it completely that evening at home. I also developed conjunctivitis that evening. I had my husband call K---- and let her know that the doctor forbade me from leaving the couch for two days due to my illicitly contagious state. Thankfully, I had everything for the week ready to go already so my husband was able to give K---- simple directions as to both my plans and where I keep everything. When I returned on Friday, the trial was over. I was sad to have missed it, but I hear it went well. Granted, I had the best substitute teacher ever, since it was, afterall, her classroom she was taking over for a couple days, but I would have hated to have my husband call her and tell her "Well, you'll just have to figure out something for the next couple days..."

Completed: Six Weeks

2007-03-05T17:16:00.000-08:00

It feels to me like I have been doing this student teaching thing forever. I think that at the end of nine weeks I'll have a good feel for the job. I wonder why student teaching has been extended to sixteen weeks...Who complained? Why was this changed? I love having this experience and I love getting a good, solid feel for the job, but I don't see it as something I need to continue into fourth quarter. Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that I'm not looking forward to being with T---- for seven weeks. I am a little less understanding of differences than S----, who's with T---- now. S---- tells me that being with T---- is frustrating at times because of her constant negativity, but that she just keeps her mouth shut and goes on with life. I have a much harder time just keeping my mouth shut - even when it's perhaps more appropriate to do so. I guess that T---- thinks I'll want to do my own lessons and take over her classes completely. However, the truth is that I want to do as little as possible next semester...

On a side note, and more directed at my students, I had them read chapters 12-14 on their own (but still in class) and fill out a worksheet of 20 questions as a reading guide to monitor reading and comprehension. When I graded them, I was surprised to find that a large percentage of students failed on the worksheet. Even smart students who generally do well in class fared poorly. I know K----'s big on an even spread of grades, but I have a real problem putting that many failing grades into the grade book. And so, I have offered them the opportunity to take it home and redeem themselves, turning it in tomorrow. I really, really hope they take me up on the offer.

Five Weeks Down!

2007-02-23T17:46:00.000-08:00

Well, it's the end of the day on Friday and I'm not exhausted. I think that's a good sign.

Recent inquiries into blogging in general have prompted me to change my system some. Even though I've changed many of the students' names here to "protect the innocent," I've decided to move to something even more ambiguous: First initials only. I don't know if this is necessary, but I want to cover more bases than may be necessary.

I administered the second quiz today. Grades were relatively the same as with the last quiz - except for periods seven and eight. I wonder what it is about those two classes that made them do so much better - an entire grade better. K---- thinks that those two classes are just smarter, and whereas I agree with that to a point, I think that it has more to do with one, I have a better relationship with those two classes and two, by the time I get to seventh, I have practiced the lesson three times already and then had a break. Of course it will be better by the end of the day! The problem now is just trying to figure out how I can possibly expand that to the other periods.

While glancing over my previous posts, I realized that I used the verbs "fear" and "worry" more than I thought. I don't generally fear or worry, but I suppose I do in reflection. I never thought teaching was an "easy" job; that's not why I chose this career path. However, I also didn't anticipate it to be like it is. I really do worry about different students, different lessons, different ideas. It's tough to step in front of 150 students every day and present an idea that took me who-knows-how-long to develop into a lesson plan and risk failure with it every day. I find this especially with my particular third period class. They're my first class of the day, and they're a rough crowd. I have a nice mix of the cool kids, the kids who don't care, and the kids who would rather be doing ANYTHING else other than school in that class. In short: they look at me the entire period like everything I'm saying and doing is the dumbest thing they've ever heard. They don't ask questions, they don't answer questions, they don't get excited about anything. Sometimes I think that the only thing that would make them happy on the whole is if I told them that English was a stupid subject so I wasn't going to make them study it ever again - that instead, they could chat, leave school, smoke pot, basically do whatever they wanted for the 47 minutes they were expected to be in my class. Obviously, that is never going to happen, so instead I have to belabor them with TKAM and other trivial things of that nature. I'm just thankful that the rest of my classes are better.

Finished with week four.

2007-02-15T15:59:00.000-08:00

I enjoyed this week. I don’t know if I enjoyed it because it was short (it’s already Friday, but it’s only Thursday!) or because things just seemed to go well.

Monday I showed the film – well, the first thirty minutes of the film. I think that in graduate classes I had the fear of God put into me by professors that if I allow students to just watch a movie and not hold them accountable for anything then they’ll just sleep through the film. One professor was adamant about not allowing students to watch more than three minutes of film at a time before stopping the film and having them complete some form of activity. I allowed the film to run through for half an hour, but did have them turn in an assignment on five differences between the film and the book. At first, I was a little concerned about five – it was an arbitrary choice, really. However, there are a ton of differences, many of which most of my students had no problem locating. The only problem with showing the introduction of the film is that every day for the rest of the week, students asked me if we were watching more of the film – even though I told them on Monday that we would be watching it periodically throughout, not all at once and most certainly not all the way through when we had only read six chapters of the book. I think it’s just because they see movie watching as easier and therefore preferred.

Tuesday Paul came to our classroom – he’s with the writer in the school program. The students really seemed to enjoy his activity, as they do every week. On Wednesday, they begged me to put that day’s activity off until the next day so that they could work on their writings from Tuesday. This may seem quite positive, but I’m not so sure it is…Do they really like Paul coming that much? Or do they see his classroom visits as a welcome respite from the rest of their lifeless, meaningless, stupid English work? I have a hunch it may be the latter.

Wednesday I played chapters 7-8 on tape. I fear that we may be falling behind in the reading – especially since I lose one day a week to Paul and both this week and next week the students have an extra day off, leaving me with two straight weeks of only three teaching days. The tape captured their attention immediately and held them for the entire period. Today, students told me that they remembered everything from the tape far better than if they had just read it on their own, which confirms my suspicion that I have a hefty number of auditory learners in my classes.

Today they worked on an activity that helped them better understand the relationships emerging between characters in the novel. I worry that they aren’t seeing the significance of these relationships and the way that the relationships are developing over time – especially since we’ve just finished reading about the second winter in Maycomb. It has been a year and a half in this novel and many of my students still think Scout is a little boy and don’t realize that she’s now a seven-year-old kid in second grade. They’re overlooking the significance of Atticus being middle-aged and the fact that Miss Maudie (who many of them still call Miss Mao-die), even though we seldom see her, plays a significant role in their daily lives. One student told me today that Scout and Jim [sic] are afraid of Boo because he has fangs and eats people. I asked him if that was true or just rumored. He stated that it was definitely true, that Boo really did eat people. I tell them over and over again that all the information they learn about every facet of life in this novel is told from the perspective of a small girl – not an educated, trustworthy, adult narrator. I don’t know if they just don’t listen or if they forget. The activity today, though, really seemed to help. There wasn’t someone all day who didn’t work with their group to find answers and suggest events as supporting evidence. I really feel like a lot of students got it today – or got at least a little bit. This activity went so very well and I felt tremendous about it all day long. It’s true, I am worried some about not being on a good pace with the reading, but I think that the activity today paved the way for us to continue in a productive fashion. Plus, I didn’t really want to send them away for a four-day weekend on a new chapter without reinforcing some of the reading thus far.

After school today, K---- and I submitted grades for progress reports. She said not to worry about spending a lot of time commenting on the progress reports (she does spend the time at report card time) – just to comment on students who have a D or F. I made sure to leave a comment on K----’s, however, letting her parents know that even though she’s still passing, she doesn’t spend her time in class wisely. Her boyfriend is in the same class and that causes problems. When she’s not talking and goofing off with C---- (the bf), she’s talking and goofing off with G----. I guess she used to be a good student and this year she’s taken a u-turn. Her writing is good, but it seems like she’s more interested in getting attention from boys, which makes me wonder how much attention she gets at home. I also left the comment “Pleasure to have in class” for C---- because, for one, he really is a pleasure to have in class, and for two, I don’t want his progress report to be filled with only negative comments.

This brings me to two other things: other teachers’ negativity and K----’s bell curve needs.

First, other teachers’ negativity. I feel like I’m surrounded by negative people all the time. In our team meetings every morning we bring up different kids. There are two male teachers on my team who constantly bring up the negative things about those kids: he hasn’t turned in anything all week, she failed my test, he’s been tardy twice, she already has a referral. If they do mention anything positive at all, it’s with surprise – unless, of course, it’s from a “good” kid, from whom you would suspect nothing but clearly good and tidy behavior. So I bring up how he did the assignment in my class and she received a C on my quiz and how he participates in discussion and how she always comes with her book, even if that was what made her tardy. They don’t pay me the time of day. They just don’t care. They hear what I say and then go back to the negative comments, the destructive comments. We have known in the social sciences for more than a hundred years that people respond far better to positive stimuli and rewards than to negative stimuli and punishment. So why waste time sitting around talking about all the things the kids are doing wrong? Why focus on everything they do that displeases the ever-important grown-up? We should be utilizing their strengths to help them succeed, not avoiding them for their difficult behaviors.

And it occurs to me now that all I’ve done is complain about my team – exactly what I wish they would do less of with the students. They are a fun bunch, even if I think some (many) of their jokes are inappropriate in a work setting and contradict the sexual harassment guidelines. They get along well and seem to support each other openly. They have finally come around to including me in their discussions and one in specific makes sure to fill me in on back stories. Also, they’ve made a list of students they want to bring in to talk with about grades and classroom behaviors, which I think is a positive and proactive move, even though I am worried that these meetings will focus on the students’ negative behaviors. I hope to be the one positive light in those meetings and plan to, despite all else that may happen, focus on the individual student’s strengths.

And for K----’s love of the bell curve…At least, that what it seems to be. She insists that there must be a variety of grades in each class, and actively scans them on a daily basis to ensure that there’s a spread representation of grades A-F in each period. I told her that I thought it better to have more As because that meant that more students are learning the material better, but she insisted that in order to have an accurate representation of what happens in the classroom – with students turning in work to how productive they are in class – you must have all grades equally represented. I firmly disagree, and that’s difficult, but I suppose for now, while I’m in her classroom, I mustn’t fight it.

Week Three. Done.

2007-02-09T15:22:00.000-08:00

This week went better than last week. I think that having the classroom entirely to myself for the three days that K---- was gone helped me gain a sense of ownership over the classroom and my students. I finally feel comfortable with 99% of their names - I'm still having problems in third period with K---- and M----, who look enough alike to be confusing, in fourth period with R---- and C----, who look nothing alike whatsoever, and of course remembering which K---- in eighth period is K---- C. and which is K---- M. and in seventh which J---- is J---- A. and which is J---- G. and also in seventh remembering which of the three N---- is which. But I'm getting there. I'm also becoming better versed in the students as a whole. I know who I can rely on, who goofs off, who shouldn't work with whom, who needs extra time on assignments and who should really be in an advanced class.

I administerd, collected and graded my first quiz today; it was on the first six chapters of To Kill a Mockingbird. I have to admit: I thought they would fare much better than they did. Each class averaged a C. I know that's about perfect according to the bell curve and all, but I think the bell curve is a bunch of baloney. K---- doesn't, though, so she's pleased as pie with the scores.

The problems I've encountered so far that I did not anticipate strike me as odd problems to encounter. First of all, students in nearly every class were confused about the difference between "theme" and "prediction." I had nooooo clue HOW they confused those two terms until I was talking about the difference in third period. Someone defined "prediction" for me as what you think happens next in the story and someone else defined "theme" for me as what the story is about. So, obviously, they saw both terms as linked to events in the novel. Got it. Then, later, I told them to read chapters four through six. At the end of the second day I had students exclaiming stressed phrases at me, saying that they didn't know they had to read chapter six as well. They thought they only had to read to chapter six. Arg. Finally, looking at the quizzes, I realize that they have no idea when or where TKAM takes place. They researched the Great Depression. I drew a timeline on the board when we read the first chapter. I drew a map on the board for the same chapter of Alabama and pointed out all the key places that they would need to know while reading the novel. I even made jokes about how since I would fail out of art school they needed to just understand that they were looking at an accurate and detailed map of the state. Grr.

I've started handing out Pride cards liberally. They're a positive reinforcement deal that the school does; when a student receives a Pride card, they put it in a treasure chest in the library. Periodically, there are drawings from the treasure chest for pretty cool prizes. I gave one yesterday to the rotten kid everyone wants to send to Fort except for me because I think he's a great kid and have zero problems with him in my class. Today I stapled them to all quizzes that received an A. I plan to give them out as often as possible.

Finally finished with week two...

2007-02-05T15:09:00.000-08:00

I swear this week was longer than five days.

I've resigned myself to the fact that I will officially lose one day of teaching per week due to our visiting author. I've known that all along, but I think that the affects of that have only really become apparent to me recently. This means that every Tuesday I won't have to worry about having a lesson plan ready (good for me), but that teaching TKAM will take longer than expected (not so good).

Also, lessons are taking longer than expected, partially due to a lack of classroom good behavior. There was a student teacher in my class last semester as well - A---- (who I've writeen about previously) - who wasn't so good with classroom management. He worried only about the five or six kids in his immediate range and tended to ignore the rest of the class. And then K----, my cooperating teacher, doesn't actually manage classroom problems; she moves kids to different desks, resulting in a change of the seating chart every few days. The problems, however, never go away. So now I step in. I want to do fun activities, allow the students to talk, move them into groups...but they've either been ignored or highly regimented by seating charts for so long that I don't have any semblance of a system of classroom expectations or consequences to shape those fun activities.

Friday I did a structured group reading exercise I learned in Jeff's class. I had high hopes of it going very, very well. Students were going to be excited to try something new, the conversation would be stimulating, and we would plow right through two chapters with all students hanging on every word. I had role expectations written out on the board. I had a schedule of how we would spend each reading session written on the board. I explained it when they came in. Friday was going to be a highlight of my first two weeks as a student teacher.

Friday was a highlight, all right - of a day gone awry.

My first mistake was in thinking that students could pick their own groups. I didn't realize that the lack of classroom expectations and behavior procedures was as horrific as it is. I think that I was also in the mindset established by teaching college students - thinking that students are mature people who can be held accountable for their actions and know what is and is not appropriate in a classroom and will abide by that social cue at all times. Or at least at most times. It didn't matter that the entire class activities were written on the board OR that I verbally discussed everything with them. I still had to explain two or three times in each class because of side talking and extra conversations occurring around the room. When I would allow them two minutes for discussion so that they could answer their questions and review their summaries and predictions, they talked instead about boyfriends, lunch, myspace and cell phones. When I called them back to order, I would gain the attention of one, maybe two groups. So I would take longer than necessary to get the attention of the rest of the class. Full class attention may have lasted - at the max - twenty seconds. Then, they were right back at the chatting. I spent the majority of my time asking people to pay attention, focus on the group, give respect to their fellow classmate who was talking, turn around, sit down, stop throwing paper...

I don't blame the kids, first of all, even though through this it most likely sounds like I do. I just think that they have no system or structure in place, so they're going to do whatever they want to do. I also think that they look at me and think that they can get away with whatever they want because I'm new, I'm female and I'm young. It's the trifecta that points, in their eyes, to me being someone they can walk on.

By the end of the day I was exhausted and depressed. I didn't feel like I had done a very good job being their teacher. I didn't think anyone learned anything; I felt like they all thought the activity was stupid and more of an excuse to talk to their friends than actually read and understand this book that they hate already. I felt like I had been disrespected all day - just trod on by 140 14-year-olds - and that in allowing that, they didn't even get the book. In each class I had about five students who really seemed to enjoy the activity and get a lot out of it, five who tried to get something out of it but couldn't hear or follow due to the unruliness of their neighbors, five who ignored everyone else in the room and read ahead, and five who caused problems. Spending that much energy on five students is NOT worth it to me.

And so, this weekend I'm recharging my batteries and coming up with a better plan for in-class behavior management and group procedures. Next week - and every future week - must go better or else I don't think I will last another 14 weeks.

Incidentally, K---- is out this Friday through next Wednesday, so I'm on my own subbing for her for the next four days.

Student Teaching - Week One

2007-01-27T20:15:00.000-08:00

I have officially completed one out of sixteen weeks of student teaching.

The week started with the realization that my cooperating teacher, K----, has more expectations about my teaching than she initially let on - expectations that I would do more things her way. I'm hoping that as the semester continues, that will subside and I will have a little more freedom.

For instance, the students spent four days in the library this week, Tuesday through Friday. I thought that four days straight in the library was a lot of consecutive days in a row, but since she had already requested them back in November, I had to work with it. I had plans for what they would do in the library - three different assignments - but she wanted them to do the research project she has had students do in the past. The assignment, to me, seemed more confusing than straight forward; that came out with the students as well. I spent the majority of the four days explaining and re-explaining the assignment in different ways so that everyone would get it. Even still, on day four there were students who showed me what they were doing and it was wrong. I have a four-inch stack of papers to read through and grade this weekend...we'll see what that turns up.

I'm trying hard to remember everyone's names. I think I have about 90% of their names down, but every once in a while I'll see a student who I swear I've never seen before...yet they've been there the previous couple of days. It seems like everyone's name starts with a "K," so asking for the hint of the first letter of their name doesn't always work. Many of my students think it's kind of a fun game, however, and get excited when I do remember their names. I've gotten "YES!"s, high-fives, and big smiles for learning their names so fast already.

There are two students in my classes who I'm going to focus on this semester. K---- is one of our special needs students. Her special education teacher said that he thinks K---- is just at that spot where she's reached an educational plateau - that she's not learning anything any more. I don't know much about K----, since I've only known her for about a week, but I think ninth grade is a little early to reach a learning stopping point. I'm going to put some energy toward her this quarter to hopefully figure her out a little and perhaps encourage and stimulate her - to find something new about her that I can share with her other teachers.

The other student I have chosen to focus on is C----. His other teachers see him as a problem and want to send him to Fort Boise. He acts out in class and doesn't do his work. He is a self-proclaimed lazy student who just doesn't care. The counselor talked to him this week about attending Fort Boise and C---- said he didn't want to. Now, we're supposed to keep tabs on all that he doesn't do so that we have more proof for wanting to send him to West. At the team meeting on Thursday morning, however, I shared all the things that C---- had done. No one seemed impressed or even like they cared. I suspect because I'm not telling them how he's failing so they can send him away. I spent some time this week talking to C----; he acted like he isn't used to people asking about him:

Me: What sort of stuff do you like to do?
C: What do you mean?
Me: Like at home, not at school, on your own time?
C: (shrug) Stuff.
Me: Well, what kind of stuff?
C: I don't know. Watch TV.
Me: What kind of TV shows do you watch?
C: (shrug) Funny ones.
Me: Any in particular?
C: (shrug) Not really.

I think I'm still working on earning his trust - which is understandable because he's only known me for a couple days and to him I'm nothing more than another strange adult prying into his life. I don't think he comes from a good home life, so not trusting adults doesn't surprise me. Regardless, this week the students knew how much work was worth an A, B or C. He did work to earn a B - which is a far cry from his F in English from last quarter. He told me on the last day that he thought he could probably finish up the last bit to get an A. I asked if he was going to, he thought about it for a moment, then told me that he didn't think so - that he would be lazy and take the B. I told him that would be fine, that that was his choice, and that I thought he did terrific work already all that week. I'm really trying to be as realistic and yet as positive as possible - enough to be encouraging, but not so much that he'll tune me out.

Almost done!

2006-11-06T08:40:00.000-08:00

Andrew surprised me this week. Wednesday he gave the kids some great tools to help them read poetry (#1: Read the poem out loud...get back to your roots of education before teachers started punishing you for moving your lips while you read...experience the flow and sound of the poem) and then told us at the learning seminar that he really wants his students to get a good, happy feel for poetry and what poetry is and the power it contains. Friday in class he assigned them the two canon poems assigned by the curriculum to read to themselves and answer four questions, the answers to which they were not allowed to discuss with a friend and which he collected at the end of the period. The two poems had nothing to do with each other and were, frankly, boring. The students' first task was to "identify the images" in the poems. OK...And do what with that? How were they supposed to write about that? - which is what he wanted them to do so that he had something to grade. And all they did with the two poems was find the boring poetry stuff that all students hate: alliteration, similies, etc. I imagine the students didn't learn anything from these poems and are no better prepared for their EOCs after this assignment. Oh, and rule #1 (read the poem out loud)? None of that. This was a silent reading activity.

I think this surprised me because his teaching Wednesday and his teaching Friday completely contradicted each other. Did he go the boring route Friday because he was only showing off for the learning lab Wednesday? Did he just not know what to do with those two poems because he also finds them boring? Was he so ill-prepared that he defaulted to the worst possible teaching style that requires no thought on the part of either the teacher or the students? What does he really believe about teaching and effective methods of instruction? Yes, the kids did the assignment and at the end of the period they were all able to turn something in, but they were bored and, I suspect, disappointed. I know I would be disappointed if I had just spent an hour of my life doing that assignment. In fact, I was disappointed just watching it.

Eighth grade was possibly the best it ever has been on Friday. Tessa was out with the flu and we had a sub. So I took over periods 6-8. I felt like I had some semblance of teacherhood in the room - like I wasn't just filling in, but that the kids recognized me as the teacher for the day. I felt like I got to know the kids a little better and interact with them in a way I don't usually get to. I'm worried about student teaching in Tessa's room because I don't think she'll be able to let me just take over like I'm supposed to. She keeps calling it "team teaching" and saying things like that she'll teach third and fourth periods and I can teach 6-8 - that way I know what she expects. Even now she doesn't let me take over the whole class - she starts them reading silently and does the announcements, which she feels are super important and must be done in her own words. That takes the first 15-20 minutes of class. I've also noticed that while she won't pass papers back to students because it wastes too much time that she doesn't have, she spends far too much time every day on the announcements - something that should take no more that two to three minutes. *sigh* Oh well - just another hoop until May, I suppose.

Slooooow Week

2006-10-27T15:30:00.000-07:00

This was a slow week, full of lots of sitting.

Wednesday in 9th grade they were getting ready to write essays. I sat in with a group for the two periods, but that's about it. When I engage in groups I try to stay withdrawn from the group process because I prefer to let them do the work on their own. I don't think it would be a learning experience for them at all if I jumped in with a "OK, well here are the directions again. Who wants to do this part? And who wants to do this other part? OK, and then I think we should do this and this is a good idea..." But going from graduate level groups to ninth grade groups is difficult - especially when I am letting them guide the productivity of the group.

I came to school feeling lousy and after sixth period told Tessa I just needed to go home. She seemed upset with me and gave me some retort about when you're the teacher you don't just get to go home and that she felt sick that day too. Seeing as how I threw up on the drive home, however, I didn't feel too bothered by her attitude.

Today in ninth the students were supposed to reread and rewrite their essays. They're practicing for the DWA, which is evidently coming up soon. Andrew surprised me today because he spent a great deal of time in both classes negotiating the work with the students. He gave the assignment and then perched in front of the class on his stool. He did not write with the students and in fact even carried on side chatter with a few of them, which only distracted them from the task he wanted them to complete. They didn't understand why they had to do the assignment - why they had to practice writing - why any of this was important - why the DWA was such a big deal...And he responded to each of their queries, which were nothing more than obvious attempts at wasting time. During all this, students felt it totally all right to chat with their neighbors, wander around the classroom, and disrupt other people who were actually working. One student even asked where the dictionaries were - yes, after nine weeks of school, he had no idea where the dictionaries were kept in his English classroom. I was surprised by all of this, to say the least. Andrew should not have had this much difficulty getting students to do the assignment - and I think that he wouldn't have if he would have led up to it better and if he built in that understanding that writing is important and that practicing writing is very important. He's also established a culture where the students know they don't actually have to do the work. They know he'll accept late work, or be "understanding," or do special things just because it's Friday. He gets frustrated with them, but I don't think it's all their fault.

In eighth grade Tessa taught all three periods. It was mostly housekeeping and a video. She likes to do all her housekeeping herself, even though it's nothing and doesn't need to take more than two minutes. Oh well. Plus, they were in the middle of an on-going activity that would have been weird jumping into the middle of.

Eight

2006-10-22T17:55:00.000-07:00

This week we watched The Outsiders exclusively. I was amazed at the students who did not watch the movie, but rather goofed off or drew at their desks. I always looked forward to movies in school - and loved watching this particular film in my own eighth grade class. It's a moving story and, even though they made some poor scene selection choices and transitions in my opinion, a good film. I suppose it just shows that you can't entertain all kids all the time.

Seven? Eight?

2006-10-17T10:56:00.000-07:00

Last week was a full week. On Wednesday I watched the ninth grade class third and fourth periods and led the entire class fifth period so that Andrew could get lunch for a third-period group that had won a contest. I had to use his laptop (a Mac) and the new projector - both pieces of technology that I was very unfamiliar with. I think my inexpertise was noticed by the students. They were helpful, though, reminding me of all the things I hadn't done yet and all the things I had done in the wrong order. Or, at least, they were trying to be helpful.

I also cried in eighth grade reading. I was reading aloud the part in The Outsiders where Johnny and Dally die. It was rough, but I had half expected to cry during that part.

Friday we did a Socratic seminar and the kids loved it. It was their first one of the year, so they got off to a slow start, but after awhile it was old hat and they fell right in to place with the discussing and arguing. Sixth period was the best of the three I witnessed. The students in that class are generally more active and talkative anyway, so this was just an opportunity for them to expand on that in an open environment. Seventh period talked and debated nearly as much as sixth; they took a long time involving the open chair, but once they did it was always full. Eighth period took a long time getting into the discussions. They kept trying to talk to me (I was leading the class) and became frustrated when I wouldn't answer them because I wasn't in the inner circle. One boy in the inner circle caught me by surprise. He is one of "those kids" - the one I hear teachers complaining about all the time (sometimes they mention him specifically). I have yet to have encountered problems with him in the classroom, but he has a behavioral specialist who follows him to all his classes and cues him when there's a problem. In the Socratic seminar, this student shone - far above the other students I saw all day. He demonstrated clear and unwaivering understanding of the text, asked thought-provoking questions and came up with more new ideas and possible solutions than anyone else. Afterwards I commended him on his performance and thanked him for doing such a great job. It makes me wonder if those teachers who complain about him allow him the opportunity to perform like that or if they would rather he sit quietly, droning on like the rest of their students...

Week Six

2006-10-04T14:43:00.001-07:00

I was only at West one day today because there's no school Friday.

We rumbled in reading today. Tessa had set up relay races between two teams in each class. One team was given advantages like a plastic egg in the spoon carry and water (instead of crackers) in the whistling relay. The kids were able to tell immedidately which team was the Soc team and which team was the Greasers.

I heard comments all day from the Greasers like:

"This sucks."
"I want to be a Soc."
"That's not fair!"
"I would never be a Soc."

The Greasers would do things like cheer each other on more and help their teammates more. Even though they didn't realize it (I asked them about it in the discussion afterwards), they pulled together far more than the Socs. The Socs mostly stood around watching their team win. There was little encouragement from the Soc side and even less help for each other.

During the discussion afterwards, we had some bitter Greasers and some very satisfied Socs. The Greasers at first said that the Socs cheated, but when I brought up the fact that they didn't cheat, that they used what was given to them, the Greasers realized that the Socs didn't cheat, but that they just had all the advantages in the competition. We then related that to the story and then to a global perspective (looking at war and its purpose or reason). The kids remembered in the end of chapter seven - the last chapter they read - where it said that Greasers will always be Greasers and Socs will always be Socs; that carried the discussion further.

It was great to see the kids thinking and processing things about social norms and social classes and pressures today. It was also great to see them get so involved with the book and its events. I'm excited to experience the rumble in the book with them next Wednesday.

Week Six

2006-10-04T14:43:00.000-07:00

"This sucks."
"I want to be a Soc."
"That's not fair!"
"I would never be a Soc."

Week Five

2006-10-01T17:46:00.000-07:00

Fourth period ninth grade English is a lively bunch of quirky students who like to chat. Students waste a lot of time in there.

I sat in on a group of four girls who wasted the first three minutes of group time looking through a photo album even though I was sitting there taking notes on their interactions. (I had even asked their permission to join their group.) I thought about intervening, but then reconsidered and allowed them to take their own course to see where it ended up. That three minutes of discussing summer photos ended when Andrew noticed that they weren't working and started walking in their direction. One girl noticed and hurridly brought the group to the topic at hand. Immediately, the album was stashed and the girls started gabbing about their project. However, no one had been listening to the directions or taking notes on the assignment so they started planning a tremendous assignment that did not fit the perameters Andrew had established for the class. Again, I let them work on their own without inturrupting. This planning wasted a good four minutes. Then, Andrew made an announcement clarifying the assignment further and the girls realized that they were working on a made up assignment. That was when they started including me, asking me questions about the assignment and what I thought they should do. They decided that they didn't want to do the assignment the way it was designed at that they would instead be creative and do it their own way. This was Wednesday. The assignment was due Monday and groups were told they would have all day Thursday and Friday to work on the assignments in class. This group of girls decided that their project would have to be done outside of class (therefore leaving them nothing to do in class for the next two days, which one girl did actually realize; to which another girl responded "Cool, then we can just chat and stuff and we'll be fine.") and so they spent the rest of the period (six minutes) planning the time and place they would meet to start, work on, complete and edit the film they were planning on making. They decided on Sunday at three in the afternoon. I asked them if they thought that would give them enough time to do the whole movie and if they were aware that that would, although be completing the project, not meet the original (and much simpler) project design. They saw no purpose in my questions. Total time wasted: twelve minutes out of twelve minutes allotted to work.

Sixth period eighth grade reading is a quiet class full of students who appear to think and don't talk out of turn. They are similar in form to seventh period eighth readng. Eighth period eighth grade reading, however, is full of busy-bodies and students who talk out. But one thing is different with all classes lately that makes them all behave equally well: they love reading The Outsiders. I read aloud to seventh and eighth periods Friday and found myself in front of a captive audience. They love the characters, the story and, I'm sure, the ease of being read to. Some follow along, some sit quietly and listen. I like reading aloud to them because I feel like the visual kids get a chance to read for a length of time and can follow along with an experienced and engaged reader and the audio kids can get the story without the burden of having to follow every single page with their eyes. I found myself getting a little choked up during the part about Johnny and Ponyboy rescuing the kids from the fire. I think that I definitely have the power to cry in front of them or, rather, that I do not have the power to stop myself from crying in front of them. I know that now and I'm prepared in case it does happen. It's just an example of how involved I am with the story and the characters.

My fourth week or so...

2006-09-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

I realized this week that I was never introduced to the students in my ninth grade classroom. Which makes me feel disjointed and like I don't actually belong there. The kids in the class are starting to recognize my face at least and are all right with me hanging around. Andrew is working on a movie production activity with the kids to get them thinking about the short story they just read. In the middle of teaching them about pitching a film to the people with money he took a moment to talk about male/female wage differences in America. It was a wild tangent that took about ten minutes out of the constructive class time that he had. He said that it was an important topic to him, but I think it was a highly useless time to bring it up because it wasted time that I think the students could have used doing the actual task at hand.

In eighth grade I led a class discussion Wednesday that seemed to go all right. I feel like I do a lot of watching in that class. Tessa always does the "housekeeping" stuff in the beginning of the period, which always seems to go on for half the period. Plus, I watch at least the first two classes and then teach eighth period.

I'm relatively unimpressed with block II in general. It doesn't feel too different from block I - just more free help for the teachers at the school. I realize this is an institutional problem and that my measly complaint on my blog won't change the rules, but I don't see the value in it yet - except that it takes away from the time I would rather be planning my own classes that I do teach and working at getting ahead on my classes that I take. And starting my master's project, which is something weighing heavily on my mind at this point. I have zero buy-in to block II.

Week Two-ish

2006-09-13T08:36:00.000-07:00

This week was my first week observing a ninth grade class. The students were working on craft projects so they were able to visit. The only students who spoke to me were three boys - the first students to hit on me. I liked being with the ninth graders; they were a very interesting bunch. In just one period of listening and watching them, they talked about myspace, emo kids who skipped school (this is not a favored group of students, evidently), hockey, varsity selection, varsity jackets, cell phones, concerts, PDA, movies and this quotation: "I was in fourth grade when 9-11 happened."

I spoke with Karen's student teacher, Andrew, about the class, since he is taking over full time this week. He said that West is too conservative for the type of open schooling we've been learning about at BSU (inquiry, groups, drama, etc.). He said that I should enter into this knowing that I'll have to do more direct instruction and teacher-centered stuff. I don't like that. I don't like his cynicism, I don't like the possibility of that being true and I don't like feeling like I have to please someone else by doing things their way when I think my methods are better and I'm far more comfortable with them. We'll see...

My first three days back at West.

2006-09-06T17:40:00.000-07:00

I decided that I wanted to be present on the first day of school this year. I knew that I wouldn't do a whole lot, but I wanted to see how it was run and get the feel for the turn-around of students. It has been since eighth grade that I've witnessed the first day of middle school so I would much rather be comfortable with it next year than freaking out about not experiencing it in about a decade.

The first day was all right. It was a little boring, since I just sat in the back of Tessa's classroom and listened to her read the same story over and over again, but that was exactly what I had expected. Tessa seems open, nice and communicative; she also seems very receptive to having BSU students in her classroom. I like that I will be working with her this semester but that I will not be participating in any Read Naturally sessions. I think that I will be able to get a lot out of my participation in her class this semester.

My second day the students were in the computer lab taking Star tests so that Tessa knew what reading level everyone was at. She told each class multiple times that this was just so that she had an idea of where they were reading - not to pin them to a specific reading level for the remainder of the year. I like her philosophy on reading. She wants students to read and wants to encourage them to experiment with their reading. Today was also a little boring because it was another non-traditional day, but it was just another part of the learning/schooling process.

On the third day I was finally able to view a more "traditional" class period. Tessa has been working with the students on figuring out their multiple intelligences, whether they're left or right brained and their learning styles. Today we put some of those techniques to use in practical application. Tessa taught sixth and seventh periods and allowed me to teach eighth. During my teaching time she took notes and went over them with me after class - which I loved. I thought it was great that she was so open about teaching methods and willing to give me immediate feedback on how I did and how she saw me interacting with the students. She asked if I would do the same for her sometimes; she said that she can always learn and improve and that that will help me in the metacognitive process as well.

I also think that I have secured a teacher for next semester. Tessa talked to the teacher next door, Karen, and Karen agreed to take me on as a student teacher in the spring. Karen teaches ninth grade English so in the spring she'll do To Kill a Mockingbird, the best book ever written, and Shakespeare - both of which will be fascinating and awesome to teach.

The Eleventh Week

2006-04-14T20:07:00.000-07:00

More practicing for the ISATS Monday and Wednesday. Blah. One thing came up on Wednesday, however, that I have been milling about in my brain ever since. Question number one on the practice sheet read similar to the following:

The engine coughed.
The photographed leered at me from the wall.
My dog jumped with joy.

These sentences describe which of the following:
A. similie
B. metaphor
C. personification
D. symbolism

I had one person in my group of four read the question out loud but before that person read the sentences I asked the students in my group if they knew what all four of their options were.

In sixth period I was in a group with four girls who all requested that they be in my group, which I think makes a difference in how they responded to me (versus how the students responded to me in seventh period). When I asked if they knew those terms, they said that they had never heard them before. So, we had a lively discussion about each one, complete with questions, examples and stories to help them rembember. Then, when we read the sentences, all four girls knew right away that they were examples of personification.

In seventh period, I chose to work with the four students in the front of the classroom. I knew them to be three of the exciteable boys and the one flirty girl, but I was feeling good about sixth period's discussion and thought that the discussion in seventh would go at least similar to that. Plus, I have built a good rapport with the four students I chose to be in my group. None of that mattered. They also did not know the four terms, but instead of discussing the answers, two of the boys talked to each other and the other boy and the girl goofed off on their own. One boy kept commenting about what I was wearing: he liked my shoes, his mom also wears red toe nail polish, my skirt had cool flowers on it. The girl kept typing things into her keyboard, even though I had asked her to move out from in front of her computer station. When we went over the sentences, one person happened to guess personification, but the others either guessed randomly or had no idea how to pinpoint something close to the right answer.

So what I have been thinking about is this: How do we, as educators, get students to realize when they are in a learning moment? We're taught to recognize teachable moments, but is there even such a thing as a learning moment? At that moment in seventh period, I thought that I had something important to teach those students - especially since those types of questions will be on their ISATS next week and every one of them is worried about improving their scores because they all know that they have to make a three-point improvement. Knowing just one more simple thing, like how to recognize personification, will help them with that. Plus, it's something that they can use forever. It's a great term and it's something that people use every day - they should know what it's called when someone says "My computer is taking it's time thinking today." But instead, they did their own things, not even attributing a moment's concern to the questions or the chance to learn.

Are they much different from the students I had in sixth period? Are their priorities different? Did it matter that one group was all girls and the other group was mostly boys? Did it matter in either situation that I am a girl? That I'm young? That I'm not their real teacher? Was it because it was sixth period and they were excited because it's closer to the end of the school day? Was it because that's the natural culture of that particular period? What was it that made them ignore and completely pass up the opportunity to have a discussion and learn?

The Tenth Week

2006-04-09T08:40:00.000-07:00

I read test questions Wednesday with a small group in preparation of the ISATS. Ms. Gratton told me to pick three students to work with, so rather than select my three favorite students I chose the three closest to the back of the room. I figured that it wouldn't make a huge difference and that the proximity would be easy. Wrong! In my group was the dependent reader I've spoken of before, who initially asked if he could work alone, but was all right with being in the group when he realized that we were all working together and that I wasn't going to force him to read aloud in front of his peers. Also in the group was a very nice young man who was cooperative and pleasant throughout the whole reading process. Finally, there was a girl who was pissed that she had been chosen to be in that group. When I said her name (when I was picking groups) she scowled at me and sent darts my way through her pupils. In the group she was short, uncooperative and rude to me and the others. I didn't let her temper tantrum get to me, though. I tried to understand that perhaps she was having a bad day or that she was upset with me for putting her in a group with two boys and away from her friends. I didn't take it personally, but rather saw it as an inappropriate reaction to an inconsequential ten minutes in her life and continued on with the assignment. I wanted to say something to her about it later, but wasn't sure what to say or how to phrase it. I think that what stands out to me about this instance is that I can see myself in her through that inappropriate reaction and I hate it. She made everyone else in that group very aware of her feelings and made everyone else in that group uncomfortable. The one cooperative boy sort of laughed at her, but not in a way that anyone but me saw. I think I was so conflicted about saying anything to her because I didn't know how. It wasn't until I was an adult that anyone said something about those behaviors to me, and that hasn't always gone well. I almost feel like I've lost my moment to have that discussion.

Switching gears...to talk about the ISATS. First of all, I hate the idea of standardized testing. Second of all, I find this concept of testing difficult. Not in the sense that I don't understand the concepts, but in that I don't understand the test questions some of the time. So often, even on the kids' level, I find ISAT questions difficult to answer. I don't always know the right answer and I think I would get many of them wrong should I be tested. When I was in elementary school, we didn't do standardized testing. The elementary school I attended primarily had a lower percentage of white students than minority students. And this financially-challenged school that I attended was in Virginia, so many things were different - right down to the focus on phonics rather than whole-word recognition. I was never taught how to take those types of tests or answer those types of questions. I have the content knowledge on what many of the questions ask about, but I don't have the procedural knowledge. Sometimes I can get the answer narrowed down to one of two options, but have no idea where to go from there. Even if I can, I can't always tell the students why I answered the way I did. Helping the students and realizing my own setbacks with the testing makes me even more aware of why I dislike the tests - because they don't actually test knowledge. They test one specific method of answering questions that applies to no other aspect of life.

The Ninth Week

2006-04-02T16:14:00.000-07:00

This week was a little different because I only came on Friday. Friday was a little different because it was the last day before spring break. Ms. Gratton always talks about the little things that cause differences in the kids' behaviors. It impresses me that she's so on top of those things. The kids seemed to be much better behaved last Friday than I had anticipated they would be.

I read with a girl seventh period who doesn't seem to connect with people very well. The two of us went to the library to read. When we got there she said that she didn't have her book today because it's at home and she didn't have her library card because she lost it. She asked if we could just read a magazine, so I said sure. She chose one of the teen magazines and we started flipping through it. She found a page on one of the reality TV shows (The Real World, maybe?) and excitedly started telling me about the characters in the show. I asked her to read the page to me and tell me about them as she read, which she seemed excited to do. I think she found it fun to be able to read about something important in her life that she could also talk to me about. Then we turned a few more pages and read something about piercings. She had just gotten her lip pierced two days before and was telling me that it's a pain and that she's thinking about taking it out. I told her that it took me about two weeks to get used to my nose piercing. Then she looked at me as though seeing me for the first time. Suddenly, she could relate to me. She asked me all sorts of questions about piercings and when I got my nose done and when I took it out. She also thought it was cool that I had had my eyebrow pierced too. She smiled at me after that and talked to me in the hall when her friends were around.

Ms. Gratton was upset that the girl didn't read a book or didn't borrow one from the classroom library to read over break. But I had already figured she would have something negative to say about reading the magazine. What I thought about the incident, though, was that I gave this girl a chance to see me in a way that she could understand - in a way that maybe helps her trust me. She is the only girl in a class full of boys and she has a tendency to flirt in a way that distracts her from her schoolwork. She comes from a family that doesn't support academic achievement. Ms. Gratton is always telling me that I have the chance to be a good role model for her. I took an opportunity to do just that.

The Eighth Week

2006-03-17T13:54:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I am surprised with Ms. Gratton's attitude toward the kids. She obviously thinks highly of them because she has been in teaching so long and because she believes so fervently in the Read Naturally program, but sometimes I am really taken aback by her ease with which she finds fault with the kids.

On Monday, the lock that locks the cabinet in the computer lab came up missing seventh period. She was certain she knew who took it, so she found him in his seventh period class and confronted him about it. He told her he didn't take it. After seventh period she talked with me about it and told me how she knew - she just knew - that he had taken it and that she was so upset that he would do that and not admit it to her. Wednesday, I found out that he had not taken it; the teacher who was in the lab before lunch had accidentally picked up the lock and carried it out with her.

There is a boy in seventh period who is working his way through The Chronicles of Narnia but is now only in the first book. Ms. Gratton has told me on many occasions that he can't read that book and that he has no business trying to read something that large and at that level. She says he's wasting time and that he's only setting himself up to fail and that she's already told him that. Hearing this, I am appalled. Especially since I read with that boy today and found that he is doing phenomenally well with that book. He uses voices for some of the characters, laughs at Lewis' humor, and connects events in the story with things he has read previously in the story. I told her what a terrific job he's doing with the book and she looked at me doubtfully. She told me "You know he's not in here for reading problems, right?" Evidently she wanted him in the class because of his extremely disadvantaged home life.

So then I wonder: Why tell him this wonderful book is too much for him?

I wonder if she's being realistic and I'm being idealistic. I wonder if she knows a little more than me about teaching and reading and students or if I know more than her about believing in people. I wonder if she's right and I'm naive or if I'm right and she's harsh. I wonder if I will get like that when I have experience in the field or if I just have a naturally sunnier disposition. I wonder what she tells parents or how she can consciously bring to a kid's attention the fact that he's a failure.

I have asked her about this, and she says that she thinks the kids need to be realistic and recognize the things that they do that make their lives harder. She really thinks she's doing them a service.

I disagree.

The Seventh Week

2006-03-13T17:16:00.000-08:00

This week brought me stress through my personal life and lack of sleep. It always amazes me that no matter what is happening outside of West, I walk into that classroom prepared to be with the kids.

I have discovered that I really enjoy this age group. The kids are a lot of fun and I feel like I can connect with them easily. Ms. Gratton has been very complimentary this semester with me and the way that I interact with the students. She makes me feel very positive about not only my experience in her classroom, but my future as a teacher.

On Friday I read with a male student from seventh period who tries to be the best student he can be while struggling with a reading disability. He's quite diligent about wearing his glasses, which he thinks helps him read, but passes over big words that he doesn't recognize. When he does that I think to myself that no amount of glasses strength will help him recognize or familiarize himself with those scary words. When I read with him I help him practice those words that trip him up: cumulonimbus, mythological. We say them over and over, discuss their meaning, look them up in the dictionary, use them in a variety of sentences. I hope it works. We chose a book together Friday for him to read called Raptor; he seemed to really get into the first few pages. One problem I noticed with him is that he doesn't connect information very well. I just hope that that doesn't tie him up in reading this novel; the author seemed to confuse a lot of information just in the first two pages.

The Sixth Week

2006-03-03T17:22:00.000-08:00

This was an even shorter week as I was only at West on Monday.

I read with a young man Monday who appears to be a very dependent reader. He had read a book the week before on Pompeii and said that he remembered most of the book, but he only scored a 20% on the quiz. So on Monday, Ms. Gratton asked me to sit with him and reread the book with him for at least 15 minutes with the expectation that he would retake the quiz. I made sure to have a conversation with him about every page he read aloud so that I could help him through the thinking process - hoping that that conversation would help him pass the quiz the second time around. Our conversations went something like this:

(He just read a page that described the town at the base of Mount Vesuvius. The page says that scientists refer to the mountain at that time as a "sleeping giant" because of its outwardly peaceful look and the fact that there was an accumulation of gases preparing to blow the top off this huge volcano. The picture depicts fairly flat lands leading up to the large mountain, with Mount Vesuvius being the only mountain in the picture. Below Vesuvius is the town of Pompeii.)

ME: Why do you suppose scientists refer to Mount Vesuvius as a sleeping giant?
HIM: I dunno.
ME: Let's look at this page again. Where do you see the term sleeping giant?
HIM: I dunno. (He has already turned to the next page.)
ME: Well, go ahead and turn back to that page. Let's find the sentence that talks about Mount Vesuvius being a sleeping giant.
HIM: K. (Turns back.)
ME: Do you see that sentence?
HIM: Yeah.
ME: Where is it? (He points to the sentence. I tell him "good job" and read the sentence out loud.) Does rereading the passage help us figure out what it means that the mountain was a sleeping giant?
HIM: No.
ME: OK, well maybe we can figure it out another way. What do you think about when you hear the phrase "sleeping giant"?
HIM: Nothing.
ME: What does it mean if something or someone is sleeping?
HIM: I dunno.
ME: How acitve are you when you're sleeping?
HIM: I'm not.
ME: Good. So if you're not active when you're sleeping, what does it mean that this mountain was sleeping?
HIM: It wasn't doing anything.
ME: Right. But there's something you know about this mountain that the people in Pompeii didn't know, isn't there?
HIM: No.
ME: Is this just a normal mountain?
HIM: No.
ME: What is it?
HIM: A volcano.
ME: Right. And what is going on inside this volcano that everyone in Pompeii thinks is a mountain?
HIM: I dunno.
ME: You said you already read the book. What happens at the end?
HIM: The volcano blows up.
ME: So what is happening before the volcano blows up?
HIM: I don't know. It's getting ready to blow up?!?
ME: Great! But on the outside of the volcano people can't see that it's getting ready to blow up, so it just looks like it's...
HIM: Sleeping?
ME: Exactly. Now what about this "giant" part?
HIM: I dunno.
ME: What is a giant?
HIM: I dunno. Something big.
ME: Yeah, something big. Maybe the picture can give us a clue about why this mountain was called a giant.
HIM: No.
ME: How big are the things in the picture - the things that aren't Mount Vesuvius?
HIM: They're not.
ME: So in comparison to everything else around it, Mount Vesuvius is the largest thing near Pompeii.
HIM: Yeah.
ME: Good. Now let's read the next page.

I tried to praise him throughout our conversation after everything he said and tried to ignore his yawning and constant gazing at the clock. I've read about dependent readers, so I felt pretty confident in seeing the signs of dependency in him when we started, but I still wasn't sure if our conversation was helpful or hindering. I wanted him to start thinking on his own and really working toward comprehension without me giving him all the answers. I really wanted to discuss the text with him. He only wanted to get through that book, though. He was reading without punctuation and without expression, just turning the pages as fast as he could. I knew that nothing was going into his head and that without pausing for a moment and contemplating the passages, he would fail the second test. I just don't know if I did a good job.

The Fifth Week

2006-02-27T15:00:00.000-08:00

This was a shortened week because of the holiday. Wednesday seemed like a normal day, although I am sure Tuesday wasn't since it was the first day back from a long vacation.

Friday, I stayed after class and talked with Ms. Gratton for more than a half hour. We talked about the teaching profession, our families, children - our own and in our classes - and classroom discipline. She really is a fantastic woman; I think very highly of her. She talked about some of her own short-comings in the classroom and her own method of growth as a teacher over the years.

I don't have much to say for the week, but I have been thinking about our conversation since Friday. She gave me a lot of calm about school and my future career. I'm grateful for that time.

The Fourth Week

2006-02-16T08:32:00.000-08:00

Monday was a fairly normal, uneventful day. Wednesday, a little different.

I have noticed a boy in sixth period who asks every day to visit the nurse; he did so again Monday. I think that as a teacher I would investigate that problem. My first instinct is to deny his request every day, but I think that what should be done is a gentle inquiry. He seems like the type of kid who doesn't see a lot of attention, especially positive attention. He was slow to warm up to me, but I've been super nice to him and very encouraging and I think that has finally had an effect because he's much more responsive to me now. The little boy who didn't seem himself last week must have gotten enough rest over the weekend because this week he was his old self again - enthusiastic and engaging. The girls still seem to think I'm all right; maybe reading with the one girl last Friday (she seems to be popular in the class) has had a lasting effect on the rest of them.

In seventh period things are a little different. Seventh period is a class of about 12 or so boys and one girl who is boy-crazy. The students seventh period are rambunctious, talkative and easily distracted. Three boys always sit up front and engage me in conversation, both before and during class. Before class they ask about my weekend and tell me they like my shoes. During class they talk about our word of the day and volunteer sentences and examples. Three boys always sit toward the back with the boy-crazy girl. They talk among themselves and try to look like they're not goofing off when they have no idea what's going on. When I address them, they give me that infamous 13-year-old look that tells me they think I'm not cool and therefore they don't care and they're not going to do anything other than pacify me to get me off their case. I don't care so much about them thinking I'm "cool," except that I know they would be a little more engaged if they didn't see me as another lame teacher who does the same thing as every other lame teacher they've ever had. At this point, I'm not sure how to get through to them. They're the self-defined "cool" kids who wear the right clothes and distance themselves from people who don't. They're the same group of kids I never got along with in school because they intimidated me. These kids don't intimidate me, but I'm not quite sure how to infiltrate their demeanor. I'm close with the girl, but she is still hesitant to give in completely because she's so easily distracted by the attention the boys give her.

For these social reasons, teaching in seventh grade seems drastically different from teaching in college. When I first started teaching English 101, my husband Kelly told me that he was most interested to see how well I constructed my relations with my male students. Later, Kelly told me that that was the thing about my teaching that he feared most: that I would grow frustrated with my male students. I can see that being a problem with the younger crowd. In college, things are a little different. People are older and care a little less. People are more present to engage on an intellectual level and care less about who or what is "cool." I think that this may not be such an issue in an English classroom where I get to interact more with the kids, or even in my own classroom, where I design the activities and assignments. However, since this isn't my class, I have limited abilities. Since there's little interaction time and even littler teaching/instruction time (in the form of designed learning activities, not direct instruction), I have limited abilities. Or, at least, I feel like I have limited abilities.

Wednesday Ms. Gratton was absent and had a substitute. It was a planned professional day, so I knew to expect her absence in advance. She had told me that she would turn the class over to me for both periods Wednesday, which I had no problem doing. Personally, I felt that I did a good job - even with classroom management, which was more of a challenge seventh period than sixth. I felt more comfortable leading the classes Wednesday with Ms. Gratton gone - more relaxed, really.

After school on Monday I asked Ms. Gratton about the family status of our students. I asked what she knew about them as far as who or how many of the students came from low income and/or single parent families. She said that many of her remedial students came from those families and that few of her regular track kids did. That is something that makes me think of the kids at Hays. I've even wondered if any of my seventh graders have been to Hays or will end up there at some point in the future. Wouldn't it be superb to motivate those kids to read better - to get them to realize that fluent reading and a good vocabulary will help them get out of that poor family situation - that the more literate they are, the better their chances of going to college and obtaining a higher-paying job - that the better their understanding of our language is, the more interests they will have, which will open so many doors throughout their lives. But how to get that across? How to help them see that? Maybe they won't all become English teachers - even as lucrative a career as it is - but maybe their reading skills will get them a position managing a store, designing airplanes, or testing chemical substances - all things they can't do on the track they're on and things that many of their parents could never do because of their own poor literacy skills.

I'm not trying to be overly optimistic...just realistically optimistic. I just want to know how to get through to them. I want to know what makes a difference to them. What matters? What effects them? Am I wasting my time and energy hoping to help make a difference for something else? Something better?

The Third Week: An Addendum

2006-02-12T08:57:00.000-08:00

I forgot to write the other day on something very important: Ms. Gratton's teaching style and classroom management. I've been noticing it lately and the ways in which it differs from my own. Ms. Gratton seems more detached from the kids on a very defined teacher/student plane and seems to seldom allow them to have fun. But she's a fun teacher, so they relate to her easily and seem to respect her. Ms. Gratton does not let her students get away with anything at all and will call them on their errors in front of the whole class. For instance, if a student walks in late, she'll say "Susan, do you have a tardy slip?" rather than waiting until they're working individually and asking Susan (a false name) at her work station about a tardy slip. The group conversation never goes awry; in fact she almost discourages students to talk about extraneous things that they see as relative to the topic.

At first I was really caught off guard about her micro-managing, which extends to her relations with me. Sometimes it comes off to me to be expending extra energy that could be diverted elsewhere. Sometimes I'll be standing off to one side of the room watching her and the kids - watching their interactions, watching how they manage to get themselves off task, watching how and when she notices when someone has a question - but before I can jump back in on my own, she's whispering at me across the room, moving her hand in a circular motion, telling me to "circulate, Ms. Hagans!" when in fact, I'm learning a lot from just standing there watching. I know it probably looks like I'm loafing, but I'm not.

Lately, I have come to more of an understanding with the way she runs the classroom; I am less bothered by what I see as micro-managing activities and more engaged in the things that really seem to be wonderful management tools that I want to adopt. I like the way that she holds everyone in the classroom accountable for good behavior and doesn't feel compelled to speak to them individually, but rather out in the open to let everyone know the standard of behavioral excellence. And she never does it in a way that makes the kids feel bad or embarrassed in front of their peers, which I could see happening easily - espcially with this age group. I really like - and have since day one - how she uses everyone's names to get their attention. It really works. She also does something very simple yet effective that I have had problems with in my own teaching. She will explain what the students are to do for the day and then she repeats the directions at least once more.

As of now, these are just some observations - very little reflection involved. I just wanted to get them down in the early stages of my observations for future comment.

The Third Week

2006-02-10T17:15:00.000-08:00

Monday I read with the girl from last Friday who couldn't make it through the first page of Sarah, Plain and Tall. I tested her in Read Naturally. She read the passage almost perfectly. It made me recognize the obvious benefits of the program. She had practiced that passage enough times that she could read every word just fine without stumbling. It makes me think that she could possibly do the same with her seventh-grade level reading, except that I doubt that she reads her history book over and over until she's able to understand it or read it without messing up.

Wednesday I spoke with another student from Boise State who shares the class with me seventh period. He said that being in our class has made him realize that he wants to work with slightly older kids. That got me thinking about my feelings about working with this age of kids. I really enjoy the kids. They're fun and have lots of ideas and think of interesting things to contribute to the conversation. At this point I don't know what age I would like to work with, but I do know that I like the younger kids. I almost want to do my future school work with another age group entirely so that I can experience more ages. I wonder if it wouldn't be a better idea to plan to work with the younger kids when I start teaching, though, because I'm so young myself. I don't know how much my age - or what the kids perceive to be my age - makes a difference. It isn't a big deal in my college classes where I sometimes teach people older than my parents, but then again, that's college. Sixteen-year-olds are a whole different story.

Today I read with a couple kids one-on-one again. In sixth period I read with a male student who seemed to be having a really off day. I asked him about it, but he said he was just tired. His home language is Spanish, but he does a really good job reading in English. He finished his book today while we read together. Afterward I asked him some questions about the book and found a similarity between him and one of the main characters. He said he had never done that before and looked like he liked the new concept of relating to the characters in his book. Then I read with a female student who seems very social and energetic. She did a good job reading, but in the course of reading I discovered that her vocabulary was lacking. She read words like "jaded" and "mortified" just fine, but had no idea what they meant. That gave me some good opportunities to talk vocab with her - something that she seemed to be interested in. I hoped all through that encounter that she would identify with me on some level - that she would see me as a confident, cool, young woman who was smart - something that she could be too. Maybe that's just wishful thinking. Seventh period I read with a young man whose home language is Spanish. He reads on about a first-grade level. We went to the library and read a children's book about dinosaurs at bedtime. He did all right with the words, but again, didn't know a lot of vocabulary words such as "mope," "sulk," or "pout." After reading the book once we went through it twice more, just looking at the pictures and getting meaning - both sentence level and story level - from each page. This was a skill he definitely lacked. It felt odd to do this with a seventh grader; this is something I'm more accustomed to doing with my first-grade sister.

By the end of this week I've noticed that the kids are feeling more comfortable with me. Many of them are glad to see me and request for me to work with them. They are used to me reading with them or asking them questions about their work or jumping in the middle of their group conversations. It gets more fun to join the class each day.

The Second Week

2006-02-06T14:15:00.000-08:00

I felt like I got more of a feel for what was going on in the classroom this week. I have the kids' names down and I'm learning their interactions with each other and with Ms. Gratton. I also feel more comfortable with Ms. Gratton and have started asking her more questions. I really like working with her. She's great with the kids - it almost seems like she's known them for years - and she's encouraging and helpful toward me.

Monday and Wednesday I worked with the kids on the Read Naturally program. I'm still working out my opinions of that program. A kid on Monday was reading a passage that contained the phrase "The pygmies, natives of the land, gathered berries." Or something to that effect. The word pygmies was defined in the sentence. It was one of the words he stumbled over in his reading. It was obvious that he'd never seen the word before. Afterward, I brought that mistake to his attention and asked him if he knew what pygmies are. He said he didn't know. I told him the definition was in that sentence. He reread the sentence twice outloud and still had no idea, so I used the opportunity to teach him about using context to decipher meaning. That instance has been on my mind since. Did he just not know how to read for context clues? Is that a fault of the program, since it primarily teaches kids to read more fluently rather than teaching them to read for efficacy or comprehension? Is it because he got ahead of himself and was waiting for the class to end and was annoyed that I was asking about pygmies? I'm unsure.

Friday we were in the classroom rather than the computer lab. I felt like I finally got to work with a student in a one-on-one capacity, which showed me a lot about their reading. During sixth period I read with a female student who seemed to be a pretty good reader. I could tell she wasn't up to grade level, but she was reading wonderfully with the book she had selected. Seventh period was a different story. The girl I read with that hour had just finished reading a Beverly Cleary book and took a quiz on it. She only received a 30% on the quiz, but she said it was because she was reading another book at the same time and so she had gotten them confused. Ms. Gratton told her that when I took her to the library that period, she was to select a thinner book. Thinking that that was our only stipulation for reading material, I recommended Sarah, Plain and Tall to her. I had read Sarah, Plain and Tall in fourth grade and can remember thinking even then that that was such an easy book. I thought I had done a good job and was proud to take this student back to the classroom with a good book that she was interested in. Ms. Gratton was skeptical, however. And she was right. When I sat down with my student, she couldn't get through reading the first page of the book without making fewer than five errors, which is the magical cutoff number to determine a difficult book. I had thought for sure that that book would be a good match for her, but evidently she needed something simpler. Then I looked at the book she had borrowed from Ms. Gratton. It had fewer than 30 words to a page and was mostly pictures. She reads on a second grade level. I found out Friday that there's a boy in the class who didn't even recognize all the letters in the alphabet when he started the school year.

So all this has gotten me thinking...How are these kids in seventh grade? Why have teachers passed them on if they couldn't read? How did teachers not know their students couldn't recognize all the letters of the alphabet? How do these students pass science or history when they can't read the text book that was written on a seventh grade level? What is done for these students in classes outside their remedial reading course? Ms. Gratton has so much faith in the Read Naturally program, but I question the good it's doing. Sure, it helps them with fluency. But how does fluency help them when they're studying their science text book the night before an exam and they need to understand the words and concepts in the text?

The First Week

2006-01-31T09:19:00.000-08:00

I was excited to finally receive a placement, seeing as how it felt like the BSU office forgot all about me. After my first day at the school I checked my email and I had finally received my West verification with my contact name for the school. Not very well timed, but better late than never, I suppose.

The night prior to my first day I spoke with a friend of mine who teaches special ed at a middle school in Phoenix. I told her I would be working with seventh graders in the Read Naturally program and she offered me two pieces of advice. First, she told me that seventh graders are not real people, but rather maniacs in seventh grader bodies. Secondly, she told me a little about the Read Naturally program with definite skepticism.

Going into the school with Hannah's words in the corner of my brain, I met Ms. Gratton. She seems like a nice woman who is concerned about her students and positive about what she teaches. When I told her that I work at Hays Shelter, she told me that many of the kids in the two periods I would be helping with would be similar to the kids I've encountered at Hays.

What I found in the classroom was a small group of students who were not nearly as bad as I had anticipated after talking with Hannah and Ms. Gratton. The only thing that reminded me of kids at Hays was, other than the age, their unwashed appearance. Otherwise, they appeared to be what I expected 12-year-old kids fresh from lunch to be like in a reading class in a computer lab.

I worked with many students the first week, circulating around to whomever was ready to take a test or needed help. I feel like I've started to get a grasp on some of their names and figure out how to work with them on their level.